I am so excited!

I am feeling great, looking good and have scheduled an permanent upper eyeliner tattoo for mid april! So no more waking up without perfect makeup on, and she is only charging me $300 to do it, yay!

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I had a molar removed..

Holy hannah i was shaking like a leaf.. it was so scary having a tooth removed but it developed an abscess and had to go because the doctor said I could develop cellulitis on my face if not. Ew, gross., no thanks.

Anyway I had the molar removed on Friday and it still feels like I have hamburger for gums.

All is the same on the marriage front, I still havent had sex with my husband.. hes super grumpy and Im pretty frustrated too.. but we will see what happens organically.

Its been one year since my Grandma died and her estate still isnt settled. My uncle has nit spoken to me since the day of her death and has not returned any of my phone calls or enquiries about the estate or if the will was changed. Its serious bullshit. Im considering getting a lawyer, but that feels so tacky. I dont know why he cant just act like a human being and respond.

Meh, life.

Truth or no?

So i finally told my husband why i wont speak to him and showed him what his friend had said to me.. no surprise he denied it all.

He said he has never been to a prostitute and has not even been with many women in his life. He was very angry at his friend (who was hitting on me non stop since he said what he did) but his friend blocked my husband so he could not tell him anything. My husband was so mad he sent his friends son a message to pass on, but the son didnt respond either.

The next time the friend tried to message me i told him that my husband knew and was angry, and his response was ” I dont know that woman anymore”.. calling my husband a woman.

My husband and i have not been talking about it but the last thing my husband said on it was that he has nothing to lose, if he gies back to Germany he will go to jail for beating his friend for his lies.

Sooo…. posturing or not? Who knows..

Sick to my stomach..

Friends, my husbands best friend in Germany seems to have become fond of me. Fond enough to begin to share some of my husbands secrets with me. One of those secrets being that a year or so before my husband met me online, he could not find a girlfriend so he was paying prostitutes for sex. I was so stunned that I am not sure if he said there was one specific one he was always visiting, or many.

As you would likely be, I am sick to my stomach.

I am not sure of the friends motives to tell me this, but he was telling me to stop tolerating my husbands rude behaviour, and that no other girls would put up with it.. then he blurted that out. He said my husband brought hookers over to his house before also. Then he made me promise not to say anything to my husband that I know.

When my husband returned home from work I was sickened by the sight of him. He tried to kiss me and I said ‘Gross, no thank you’ and walked away. He was asking me what’s wrong but as I had promised his friend, I did not say. I only said ‘nothing’.

I did tell him he is a disgusting old man and get out of my face and never come close to me again. He wasn’t that affected.

Then this morning my car was gone and when I checked my bank account he had snuck my bank card and removed money from my account without my knowing and replaced the card thinking I would be no wiser. I was livid.

So the upshot of it all is that for two days now I have not spoken to him.. well.. except to let him know if he steals from me again I will report it to the police.

So disgusting… I feel like this must be hell.

Feb 2nd is the one year anniversary of my Grandmas death. It’s weighing heavy on my heart tonight. I miss her a lot, even though I know she was ready to go having lived 94 years.

Sigh.

Hopefully next entry is more upbeat.

Marriage…

Whats to love about marriage?

Ok true its wonderful having a partner and being a partner, but beyond that the stereotypical role expectations are so unappealing. Yes,I am married but it feels like the moment you say I do you become someones mother instead of a partner. Blah, count me out of the group for marriage enthusiasts. Next time I may try polygamy lol

Ps I downloaded snapchat in my ipad. 😁

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Another quick update

So.. a few things are new.

My son’s father is having a baby with his new wife, and did not choose to tell my son until he went for an access visitation and saw the new babies room. Needless to say my son was shocked, upset and rather heartbroken. He asked to come home in tears. I will hug him through the pain, fear and jealousy he may feel. Apparently she is due to have the baby in December or January – so at 43 years old he’s starting over with a new baby. Good luck is all I can say. lol

I quit my job! So hubby has been working, and I dont have to. What a joy to be a housewife again! We have been getting along just fine and the house is a happy one with mom home and dinner on the table for the family when dad arrives.

The cats are doing fine, we just took in two new kittens last month – a brother and sister – and they have adjusted well to our home. Everyone is happy.. especially my husband who begged me to have these two new babies. 🙂

I am officially a surrogate mother to two of my son’s friends who’s mothers are never home. They come by and eat dinner with us when they are hungry, and I’ve even bought them clothes because they had no winter wear. I dont mind though, it makes me happy because I know I am filling a need they had.

Oh.. out of my two nephews one  (who just got married) is pregnant and one (whom I dont speak with) just had a baby at the beginning of november. Time is fleeting, I remember when they were just babies themselves.

So the world lost David Cassidy yesterday. It made me sad because who didnt love Keith Partridge? (Yes, I was more a Shaun girl, but still.. he was a dreamboat) Go peacefully into your next adventure David, millions of girls are mourning your loss and wishing you love and light right now. VARIOUS

And last but certainly not least, the world lost an amazing talent 20 years ago today. There will never be another Michael Hutchence. He was the epitome of natural talent and I join the world today in remembering the loss of this beautiful soul. Screenshot_7

oh, I almost forgot. I had nightmares of the greek again last night. I wish I could forget him and his betrayal entirely.  And on the health front, I am not taking my stomach pills anymore! I discovered apple cider vinegar and wow it’s cured just about anything that was wrong with me! I can not believe homeopathic cures like that really work – even where prescription medicines were failing. #blessed

 

 

 

A quick update

So, hubby is back and working. This is great because I don’t have to work, I get to stay home.. and besides, I have had to deal with an ongoing depression since my Grandma passed away last February. I miss her and my Grandpa so much. I’ve felt a huge feeling of loss since she left.. my son is 17 and my daughter is 19 now, and I miss them being little. I feel that loss also. Its been hard.

My birthday’s coming up and I’ll be turning 48 years old. Hmm.. whats good about that? lol not much. If Im not careful I will pee when I sneeze and I have to take pills twice everyday for a stomach issue I’ve developed. Hooray. Oh well, at least I still look good. *shrug*

I’m still waiting for my Grandparents estate to be settled. I haven’t heard from my uncle (the executor) since just after Grandma died.. that’s 6 months now. However, I have read that it takes a year after someone dies to settle the estate, this year is actually called “the executors year”. Before I looked into it I was worried he could just spend the money himself, but after looking up the laws I found out he cant touch the money legally until every beneficiary has signed an agreement saying its okay. So.. Im just waiting patiently.

In the mean time I am just looking for houses to buy once everything is settled. I cant wait to move and not have to work in nursing anymore. Im burnt out.

My daughter is going on a trip by herself in two days, I am very stressed out about it and worried for her safety. She’s going by bus and I dont feel its safe, plus she will be staying in another province for a week and a half.. alone.. she’s only 19 years old.. of course her ex boyfriend lives in that town but he’s as reliable as a broken car and she’s so naive. *sigh* I just cant wait till she comes back safely.

Anyway.. how about that Jensen Ackles?? God bless his cotton socks he’s actually probably the most perfect specimen I’ve ever laid eyes on.. and I’ve laid eyes on quite a few. lol. cheers!

I’ll just leave this right here…. ahem.