Exhale…

After a year of hard work while hubby was away, its sure nice to be able to exhale.

I have not even had to work because he is working now – so I have been able to rest and recuperate… even to grieve the loss of my Grandma. I did not realize how much I needed this until I had it.

I went to the thyroid specialist and my thyroid is 3 cms swollen on each side, if it reaches 5cms I have to have them surgically removed. In fact, the specialist asked me if I wanted to have the surgery now but I told him not until absolutely necessary… so I am to check in with him in 6 months to see. He put me on two pills daily for them, blah. I also have to have blood work to check my hormone levels and make sure everything is okay despite this problem. So we will see.

Hubby is outside replacing the shocks on my car, life is good. 🙂

Its 3am

insomnia

Its 3am and I cant sleep.

I get insomnia when I’m stressed out, and tomorrow is a stressful day. I have a job interview at a place I’d really like to work at. Even worse, the higher up the corporate ladder you climb, the more stressful the interviews. This interview is a “panel interview”. So I’ll have to navigate questions from a panel of 3 executives.  Therefore I should be sleeping, I need to be alert.  Someone tell my brain that?

C’mon brain, give it a rest already.  ugh.

Low Carb, High Fat

I managed one day on this horrid diet and then I felt sooooo sick. I am not a big meat eater by any means. This “way of eating” did not work for me. I ate a package of bacon in one day and 4 eggs as well as a pork chop and oh my gosh I was so ill.

I would rather eat whole foods like fruit and veggies, than eat all this fatty sickening meat.

Never again. lol

 

hmm..

The job is still “closed pending fill”. I have always wanted to work with the dead. I am sorry I did not pursue that mortician job when I was offered the training. Who knows.. they may still call. 🙂

Spooky (my oldest cat) is still hanging on. He still has a decent quality of life.. he walks around now and has more energy since I have been giving him specialty wet food once a day as well as giving all my cats a dish of organic coconut oil – which they love. He’s currently snoozing beside me. 🙂

Starting December 1st we have to wear masks at the hospital while on shift. ugh. Have you ever tried to talk for 12 hours with a mask rubbing your face? Its painful. Not to mention it scares the heck out of the patients who have altered cognition. Policies.. smh.

19 years ago today the world lost an icon. Michael Hutchence. Today I remember him, he is one of my all time favorite singers. An amazing talent with an amazing voice.

kkkkk2

I am very sad to say that a few days ago I tried to find one of my besties from childhood on facebook. She was a real wild child and I was excited to see what she’d been up to since we knew each other (I was 15)… when I couldn’t find her on facebook I googled her name only to find her on the missing and murdered aboriginal women’s list for Alberta Canada. Turns out she never tamed her wild ways and ended up being drug addicted and prostituting herself to make ends meet. One of those johns likely murdered her as her body was found in a remote location near a grain silo in 2006. I was gutted to read about all that. Sure she was a “hot mess” but she was also a sweet girl with a great big heart, who had a kind soul. Of course when she drank though, she was feisty.. omg. I wanted to just vent that as it’s been weighing heavily on my mind lately. I am super upset that her murder has never been solved, the killer has never been brought to justice. She was so thrilling to be around, her life was always an adventure and our moments together were always exciting. I can still remember me trying to talk her out of selling her body, towards the end of our time hanging out together.. and her saying “Hey listen, you GIVE it away.. at least I get PAID!” and laughing. Oh Bonnie.. I wish you would have listened. I hope your killer is found and hurt for what he did to you. Whomever he was, I KNOW for certain you laid the boots to him.. and I know you got some good punches in. Rest easy my scrappy friend. Thanks for always telling me how beautiful I was, and thanks for letting your guard down with me during our friendship.. I know that took a lot of courage for you. I’m sending you a big hug to heaven. You were always the beautiful one.

bonnie_jack

The weather has turned cold now. I cant wait until my husband is back. It is only a few more months. All his immigration paperwork is finished and it has cost me almost 10 thousand dollars. Money doesn’t matter though, in the end. Having my husband does. Once I get my inheritance we plan on moving to P.E.I or Nova Scotia. Do you know you can get a house there on acreage for 20 thousand dollars? Super cheap! Why live the rat race here when we can live like kings there? Exactly. Plus it’s beautiful. Imagine ocean front property with whales and icebergs floating by.. and the sunsets. I am so excited for that dream.

My sister came to see me last weekend and we spread our mother’s ashes in the same place we spread our Grandfather’s. Mom would have loved that. My sister took it pretty hard, she felt like she was losing her all over again. I felt a sense of relief instead, knowing mom was finally free. She died in 2004 and we’ve taken turns with her urn ever since.. until I said enough was enough. So glad she was on board with that. I love my sister. Over the years she has become an exceptional woman. I’m proud of her. She recently married a wealthy Italian man (thought I was the one who was going to marry an Italian.. my first boyfriend was named Guido! lol) and is living a happy live in his mansion. Good for her.

Well, the sleeping pill is kicking in now, so.. goodnight and be well. ❤

 

Enjoying autumn

Sorry I haven’t updated in awhile. I have been so busy trying to enjoy life. Autumn is my favorite time of year. ❤

The update with Spooky (my kitty) is that he’s doing better now. He is even jumping down from the sofa and back up again. I have been giving him lots of TLC since my last post. At first I was picking him up to carry him anywhere he needed to go; to the bathroom, to drink, to eat, to lay down. I had to actually wash his feces off in those first few days as he could not stand to go to the washroom, he sat down. No fun for anyone but the good news is that now he’s doing better. He walks with stiff back legs, but he still walks pretty good these days. He is not falling to the left. (I am convinced he had a stroke ) He gets wet food once a day because I noticed that his hind feet were swollen and am concerned for his kidneys because of it. I do notice he is drinking a lot of water.. which is another kidney indicator.  I have also been taking him outside when it’s sunny so he can walk around the yard for ten minutes or so, which he really enjoys. He even tries to stretch his hind legs when he’s out there, watching birds and eating the catnip I planted two years ago. He can actually step into the cat box with his back legs now.. and every day I give him a dish of coconut oil, which he really seems to enjoy and we are working on getting some matted hair off of him, when he’s not too angry about it. Right now he sits on the recliner cleaning his face with his paw. He looks happy enough. 🙂

On the topic of cat care, I do have to say one thing.. fucking ear mites. They are the bane of my existence. I have tried everything.. sirolan (sp?) doesn’t seem to work, the ear cleaning fluid is a joke.. and I wish I could find a homeopathic or home remedy for these little buggers. My one kitty has a swollen ear now from shaking his head. It looks like a case of cauliflower ear. Ughhhhhhhhh. I am still trying the sirolan but for fuck sakes, how come nobody has a better way to cope with this?? Its impossible in a multi cat household.

Other than that I bought a new dining set yesterday which I really like and the scenery here is beautiful. Here’s a pic:

okanagan autumn.jpg

fall colors everywhere. ❤

I have been feeling sooo much better since my colonoscopy. They found four polyps (which turn into cancer) in my transverse colon.. so I feel much better having those removed. Plus my thyroid issues are calming down and I feel more energized. I am trying to eat healthier.. eating a protein drink in the morning instead of skipping meals. I have also added Quinoa to my diet and am eating as much organics as possible as well as taking vitamin D and avoiding processed foods. I think the protein drink is helping quite a bit as I rarely eat meat and only drink almond/soy/rice milk.. I was probably lacking because of it.

The other thing I have been doing is my sister gave me a herb vape and I have been taking a vape hit once before bed on the nights I feel like I wont be able to sleep. I have such restful sleeps and wake up feeling so much better in the morning.

Anyway time to go chat with hubby for a bit then head to bed. Thanks for reading. 🙂

More good news :)

So the thyroid specialist said I have a less than 3% chance of Cancer.girl_silhouette2

I have allergies. That coupled with my stomach problems are creating swelling on my thyroid. I am taking two medicines for the next month to see if they help both those issues, and if so then I wont need surgery at all. 🙂

I guess my good Karma is to thank. yay me 🙂

 

 

Surgery was fine

So.. surgery was fine. I wont say a breeze but I’ve survived worse.

In two days I get to visit another specialist for a different issue – my thyroid – and he will be talking to me about the test results of the ultrasound which will tell me if I have tumors or cysts on both sides of my thyroid. If they are tumors, he will ask me to schedule a biopsy to check for cancer. If they are cysts he will schedule surgery to remove them.

I wont agree to a biopsy (and neither should any of you reading this) I will ask for a lumpectomy (removal of the effected tissue). The reason you should not ever have a biopsy (imo) is because the body surrounds cancer cells/tumors with mucous to protect itself from the cancer cells. In a biopsy they take a needle and puncture the mucous sac to remove some fluids to test. The problem is the hole. It allows the cancer cells to leak out, and they can spread like wildfire. So please, if you’re reading this.. just get a lumpectomy. You’re not going to want to keep that lump for anything right? exactly.

My sister is (again) driving the 4 hours to be with me for this specialist appointment. I think it’s freaking everyone out that I am having health issues these days. I keep telling my family to relax, it’s going to be whatever it’s going to be either way.. there’s no point in stressing about it. Besides, working in nursing has been a great gift that way. I have been with soooo many people at the moment of their death, that it does not scare me in the slightest.  I really should have taken that mortuary job I was offered.. apprenticing to be a full fledged mortician. ah well… maybe next time. 🙂

Anyway, time to go have a vape hit and get into bed.. and relax.

1488822_10152312173040498_5641162327427969063_n