Sick to my stomach..

Friends, my husbands best friend in Germany seems to have become fond of me. Fond enough to begin to share some of my husbands secrets with me. One of those secrets being that a year or so before my husband met me online, he could not find a girlfriend so he was paying prostitutes for sex. I was so stunned that I am not sure if he said there was one specific one he was always visiting, or many.

As you would likely be, I am sick to my stomach.

I am not sure of the friends motives to tell me this, but he was telling me to stop tolerating my husbands rude behaviour, and that no other girls would put up with it.. then he blurted that out. He said my husband brought hookers over to his house before also. Then he made me promise not to say anything to my husband that I know.

When my husband returned home from work I was sickened by the sight of him. He tried to kiss me and I said ‘Gross, no thank you’ and walked away. He was asking me what’s wrong but as I had promised his friend, I did not say. I only said ‘nothing’.

I did tell him he is a disgusting old man and get out of my face and never come close to me again. He wasn’t that affected.

Then this morning my car was gone and when I checked my bank account he had snuck my bank card and removed money from my account without my knowing and replaced the card thinking I would be no wiser. I was livid.

So the upshot of it all is that for two days now I have not spoken to him.. well.. except to let him know if he steals from me again I will report it to the police.

So disgusting… I feel like this must be hell.

Feb 2nd is the one year anniversary of my Grandmas death. It’s weighing heavy on my heart tonight. I miss her a lot, even though I know she was ready to go having lived 94 years.


Hopefully next entry is more upbeat.



img_1626Yesterday hubby and I went to finalize paperwork for his Canadian social insurance number and he also got his Canadian drivers license! Congratulations schatzie! We did what we planned to do, and you are now Canadian. 🙂


He’s back

So, my husband arrived on time and we picked him up at the airport.

Things have been great since he got back, he’s been fixing things around the house.. helping me and now he’s working. We still have lots to do now that he’s a Canadian citizen. Time to get him onto my bank account, set up health care and get all his Canadian identifications. He has been very happy to be back also. So things are looking up around here.  I am still looking for houses to buy once my inheritance comes in.

We want a house on some acreage, out in the country. Something we can enjoy nature with and our animals can have lots of room to do the same.

Two days ago while my husband was at work, I went to the pool and worked out. It was fun. I think I’m going to do that more often. I’m in okay shape now but I’d like to be in better shape again. My health is alright, although I have to go back to the thyroid specialist for a “follow up” appointment in June. I am hoping he does not tell me I need surgery.  I’ve been thinking about a Zumba class.. they look fun. 🙂

I sure miss Grandma though. I miss having her to talk to, even if it was just a telephone call.

Hubby and I have been having sooooo much sex, its insane. Its nice to finally not feel like a single married woman anymore.


I went to the interview this afternoon.

As I said it was a panel interview consisting of (possibly) my immediate manager and two people from company’s the board of directors. While it is somewhat nerve racking having three people asking you questions and inundating you with scenario’s, I think I killed it. I felt quite in control of the situation and I had them laughing and feeling comfortable. I am sure I came across quite capable and confident.

So.. I will know by Thursday if I got it or not. I guess it’s fingers crossed that nobody more qualified was interviewed.

Also.. its my 4th wedding anniversary.

Hubby is still not back from Germany yet and I am getting tired of passing milestones that aren’t celebrated because I’m a single married woman. 😐

Well, its finished.


The immigration process I mean.  Its official, my husband is legally allowed to live and work in Canada. All in, it cost me almost around 8 thousand dollars (and him about 3 thousand) to complete the process.

I am happy now that we will be able to plan trips since he can cross borders. I’ve already been to Vegas but I’d like to take him. I was also thinking Hawaii would be fun.

Oh well I guess we’ll see.

At least nothings off the table anymore.


One week!


One week until my husband returns, and has his permanent residence papers all in order and finished. All in, it’s probably cost us almost 8 thousand dollars.. but it was worth it.

It has been a long year apart. With much loss and heartache. I am looking forward to his return and finally having a shoulder to cry on.

Marriage is a funny thing. It’s like my Grandpa used to say “marriage doesn’t solve all your problems”. In fact, it creates quite of few of it’s own. I have never done well with compromise, but I’m learning. Thank God he’s patient. I am not an easy girl to love at times. I am very headstrong.

Grandma’s estate is in the process of being settled.. I miss her so much. Often times I cry just thinking about our times together. Its hard to be without her and grandpa.

ah well.. death is hardest on the ones left behind. The ones who have gone ahead are at peace.

Goodbye Spooky


My sweet little man, my friend and confidant for 17 years passed away the day before yesterday.
When I woke up he was laying in the bathroom casually looking around. It was not unusual because he was getting his wet food each morning, but he had been refusing food for two days so I was puzzled. He didnt want anything to eat but seemed to enjoy the cool floor.
Within two hours he had layed his head down and wanted me with him, meowing if I tried to leave.. so I didnt. I realized at this point he was going to die.
Since he seemed comfortable i decided to let him die at home. He looked as though he would just pass in his sleep.
Once he became uncomfortable on the floor I got a hospital pad and layed him on it, on the bed in the spare room.
He was comfortable and purring despite lacking energy to move for his last 9 hours of life.
His last five minutes were not so nice, sadly. He threw up 3 times (i had fresh towels in arms reach) and began meowing louder and louder until it was like a cat fight sound, then came the seizures.. my poor boy arched his back and neck violently 3 times and then started staggered breathing.. kind of how a person crying hard breathes.. then those breathes got slower. Then they stopped.
He died with me kissing the top of his head and telling him i love him.
It was such a sad day.

If you are undecided about letting you cat pass away at home (for what its worth) my advice would be not to.

My Spooky was 17 years old and he still had to go through pain in his last 5 minutes of life. I am comforted to know he was purring right up until he started to throw up… and I am glad I did not leave his side all day, he deserved that loyalty and love.

I will miss that kitty. We had a lifetime together.

My son and I buried him in the garden beside Mozi yesterday, on what would have been my Grandmas 94th birthday 😦

RIP Spooky, Mommy loves you so much. Thank you for your love and loyalty.
So much loss lately, I need my man beside me to make it all okay again. 😦